Wrap the snake around your belly and keep going
The sandstone of this desert holds my laughter and my tears. My feet choose a path and I feel freedom from the voice that stays so busy in my head. Quiet now, see the moon, full, resting above the portal. My camera doesn’t capture the magic, so I leave it behind in the truck. The sky that holds the moon is naval in color with walls of red rock creating a frame for this beloved town.
As I begin walking, I am thinking about the part of me that is a perfectionist. I want to quiet this part so I can show up in love, and not fear, in my life. I have been writing about Ganesh for weeks, but unwilling to share what I have written. Today, I begin again, and I choose Ganesh’s third wound, the wound that he creates himself.
Ganesh, the elephant headed God, was riding his mount, a mouse, when they encounter a snake. The mouse is afraid of the snake, and in his fear, he stops suddenly. This causes Ganesh to fall off. When Ganesh falls to the ground, the sweets (he is a joyful character that enjoys the sweetness of life) spill out of his belly and the moon laughs at him.
This makes him angry. It is possible that he was embarrassed, feeling judged by the moon. In his anger, he breaks one of his tusks and hurls it at the moon. This is where we get the posture, half-moon, ardha chandrasana. Ganesh has just wounded himself.
The last couple of weeks, with a room full of students, I have shared that I am nervous to teach. This is the fear that I choose to transcend. This is the fear, masked as a perfectionist, that wants to find the right words and is judgmental of myself.
This is also the fear that I incorporate, like Ganesh does the snake. He picks the snake up, along with his sweets, and wraps it around his belly. I feel my fear and quiet it through the recognition that sharing these tools, these practices, is important to me. I am willing to get uncomfortable to do so. I am willing to be unliked, criticized, and laughed at. I am willing to make mistakes. In my acceptance of this, I find the freedom to share my offering.
I’m currently teaching in the same room where I began teaching almost twenty years ago. I used to sit in my seat praying that no one would come (I was afraid) and they usually didn't. I no longer pray that no one will show up. Now, I appreciate the students that choose to practice with me and I offer my best in the given moment.
Ganesh is known to both deliver and remove the obstacle. The idea being that the obstacle is a gift for our transformation and growth. Is there something you're afraid of? Is there an anxiety that shows up in your body in certain situations? If yes, I invite you to ask what is under the surface? What is it that you're afraid of? Would allowing yourself to show up imperfectly or to risk not being liked or successful give you permission to act, or not act?
I am learning to find peace through connecting to presence and releasing control of how my offering is received. I appreciate knowing that I am a vehicle for the offering but I have no control in how it is received. I feel the most peace when I am able to stay connected to presence and, in my imperfection, I am not there all the time.
On this day of the full moon, I am not laughing at you, I am cheering you on! I encourage you to feel your fear, accept it, and then quiet it with your connection to presence. Meditation and movement are wonderful tools to practice presence. Actually, anything can be an opportunity to practice presence, if you bring your full attention to it.
"Your wholeness is felt by feeling the wholeness of the present." Philip Shepherd
I enjoy using the Insight Timer App to time my seated meditations. Recently, I have explored a few of their guided meditations. I'm enjoying the offerings by the fella linked below.
10 Minute Healing Mediation: https://insighttimer.com/davidji/guided-meditations/10-minute-daily-healing
22 Minute Deep Healing Meditation: https://insighttimer.com/davidji/guided-meditations/deep-healing
Love,
Angela