An old postcard written to my dad
Hello! Today we celebrate Father's Day. My dad and step-dad have both left the physical form. I stay connected by continuing the conversation in my heart.
I recently inherited some new bookshelves. They stand an inch from the ceiling, so they look like built-ins and I have used the new space as inspiration to sort through my books. In my sorting, some books have risen to the top, asking for a fresh look.
One of these books, The Essential Teachings of the Dalai Lama, had papers stuffed inside. What I found inside this book tells the story of time passed, a magazine clipping from National Geographic about private land near Castleton Tower. My dad had torn it out and sent to me. There was also a postcard that I had sent him shortly after I moved to Moab.
The postcard told a tiny story of how much I loved Moab and that I felt like I was good at my job as a Mountain Bike Guide.
postmark 25.June.2002
Hi Dad, Things are going well for me in Moab. I have been working a lot!! I love my job guiding mountain bike trips. I think that I'm doing a GREAT job.
I hope that you aren't working too hard.
I miss you! Love, Angie
Why did I tell my dad that I was doing a good job? Was I proud of myself? Did I want him to be proud of me? I've lost this along the way.
The curse of having big dreams is that they often feel far away. I have noticed that I often forget to pause and appreciate how far I've come. This isn't about needing approval. This is about appreciating the steps we've taken to be where we are in this moment. Today, I'm practicing pausing and appreciating the small steps. Today, I am bringing more appreciation into the now.
When I wrote this postcard, I had left the corporate world to pursue an alternative path. Although I felt courageous, I imagine, I also felt some uncertainty.
I have been thinking about what I would say to my dad today. At the time I am writing this, he has been in spirit form for around 16 years. I wrote him a letter last week and found I had a lot to say. Here is an excerpt that is most relevant to my next chapter:
I have courageously chosen an alternative path. I have been a serial entrepreneur. With each business, I learn more. These days, I am less interested in the business side of things and more interested in serving and creating. The business is now a vehicle for me to be of service; to inspire, to love.
Both my dad and step-dad were entrepreneurs. My dad had a trucking business, excavation business, deep sea fishing business, and more. My step-dad was a farmer. He grew up farming the land and animals. He continued to farm until the day he passed, just over a year ago.
What I learned from both my dad and step-dad is that the anchor of being an entrepreneur is to keep showing up, to ride the waves of uncertainty with the change of the seasons and weather. It takes courage and practice to follow your dreams, big and small.
What is something you've practiced that you're proud of right now? Share it! It doesn't have to be with your dad, but it certainly can be. Share it with a friend, or with me. :)
With love,
Angela