A Vessel of Bliss & Drudgery
Bliss. The Oxford dictionary defines bliss as, “perfect happiness; great joy,” but the bliss that we speak of in yogic philosophy is better defined as “type 2 fun.” This is the bliss that doesn’t always feel fun in the moment. Simply stated, the work that is worth it. The challenge that invokes deep presence because it is intriguing enough to draw us into the moment with intense focus.
I'm going to play with this definition of bliss in relationship with another word. In a recent interview on the Ritual of Practice Podcast, Ted Sorensen said, “ninety percent of creating a painting is drudgery and then the last ten percent you see it start to come together.” [Link below]
This got me thinking about what I choose to invest my time in, and what I don’t, and where I am in resistant to drudgery and where I embrace it. How do we decide what is worth it?
Feel the difference between busy and full. I’ve been practicing this one for a while and what’s worth it is what I want to fill my life with. It is so easy to make ourselves busy. I routinely ask myself if I am choosing to spend time on the things that I want to fill my life with?
Several years ago, I had an idea that I would like to learn to play the harmonium. I bought a harmonium with the intention of spending time learning to play. The reality was, once the harmonium was in my house, I was no longer interested or inspired in learning to play it. The drudgery wasn’t worth it. It suddenly felt like time doing that would take away from other things that lit me up more. I sold the harmonium and appreciated being free from giving it attention.
I don’t always choose or spend my time doing the things that I value the most. There have been many times in my life I have realized that I am not spending time and energy where I would like to. I haven’t spent as much time as I’d like in the last six months with my horses. Sometimes I’m not riding my bike as much as I’d like. My meditation practice still oscillates between deep devotion and casual avoidance. Self-awareness supports me in recalibrating when I notice that I’m not prioritizing what I’ve decided is worth it.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines drudgery as, "very hard or unpleasant work." Another definition is: boring work. This invites the question, again, what is so worth it that you’re willing to spend time and energy doing the boring work, the drudgery. . .and is it really boring?
In my practices, this is cleaning the horses feet, writing daily, and sitting to meditate for fifteen minutes. None of this is particularly inspiring, and practice has taught me that the drudgery feels a little bit like bliss.
Sometimes walking my dogs feels like drudgery, especially if I’m tired. This morning, I went out in the dark with my headlamp to take them on a longer walk. Stars sparkled and the bright crescent of the moon was held as a part of the whole moon in a softer light.
The mountains framed a contrast in the sky at predawn, a blend of lavender and worn denim. Slowly, the sky filled with pink, and I knew it was temporary so I paused and drank it in. I appreciated the drudgery of caring for my dogs that led me to this moment of bliss.
Fun. This was my mantra for 2024. I wanted to have fun. The previous year was incredibly difficult and, although I learned a lot, I was ready to feel lighter and have fun again. As you can imagine, it wasn’t all fun but I began to recognize and appreciate where the fun was so that I could give those areas more attention.
If the mission is to have fun, is fun the spark, or is fun what is found along the way? Is fun what motivates or fun what happens while you’re drudging along doing the thing?
This morning, I was at lift club, a small group led class where we lift with intention, aligned and heavy. I often find fun easy in these classes even though it isn’t my preference to exercise indoors. This morning, though, I felt like I was just going through the motions until something shifted. As the weight grew heavier, it suddenly was more fun. As I figured out how to get out of the pickle of a weighted bar set-up for hip thrusts, I found my giggle and delight in the ritual of showing up for myself in a consistent way, drudgery & bliss.
The beauty of consistency with the things that are worth it, the drudge, and the little things that we do most of the time. Change happens when we build the new. My understanding of neural pathways is that we don’t get to delete the old, the unwanted, the bad habits. Change happens when we create the new - new habits, new intentions, and we practice. We are inspired and then we drudge along, sometimes it is fun and sometimes it is boring but we’ve decided it is worth it. Then suddenly, we are living with both, the old and the new and sometimes we see a glimpse of the old but we also recognize the new and we get to choose!
What is it that you are choosing? May you recognize and appreciate that you don’t need a new year to begin, or continue, with your bliss. If you found yourself inspired by the beginning of a new year, may you embrace the choices that support what you’ve determined is worth it and allow yourself the grace to restart, again and again, when you lose connection to the bliss while drudging along.